1. Trying to please God? Your own strength is not enough. You will never please God by your efforts. “Put on the full armor of God,” and “be strong in the strength of the Lord.” (Eph. 6)
2. Guilt must be dealt with. Don’t beat yourself up and don’t minmize your sin; either extreme is a problem. Confess your sin (1 John 1:9) and repent. (1 John 2:5)
3. Spend time with Christ-loving friends. Isolation weakens. Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) Do not neglect meeting with believers. (Heb. 10:25) "For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst." (Matt 18:20).
4. Examine what you do. Are these activities glorifying to God. As often as possible imagine that Christ is actually with you (because He is!). Hold fast to that which is good and abstain from every form of evil. (1 Thess. 5:21-22) 5) Examine your thought life. Take the Psalm 1 challenge and “meditate on His word day and night.” Real and lasting Godliness is only complete with a renewing of the mind, not just changing behavior. (Romans 12:2)
5. Are you rejoicing today? Terrific! If not, talk to God. Don’t push feelings away, this only leads to confusion. Talk to Him, He wants to comfort you. (Matt 11:28) But don’t wallow in your emotions. Keep this in mind: thoughts cause feelings. Renew your mind by meditating on God’s truth, and your feelings will renew.
6. Actively serve God. Consider this verse, “Pure and undefiled religion is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” (James 1:27) What are your gifts? Use them to God’s glory.

1) : Come Thy Fount Of Every Blessing

Is Christian Counseling for Christians only?

Christian Counseling is not just for Christians. So you might ask, why bother to define the counseling as "Christian?" The answer to this question reveals a fundamental truth about counseling. Counseling is based on philosophy. (See Why Christian Counseling) Since the counselor's role is to direct the process, it is wise for a prospective client to ask "what philosophy guides the counselor's thinking?" For example, If the counselor is an feminist atheist then this perspective will certainly influence the way this counselor does therapy. Just as the personal philosophy held by the counselor is their own decision, likewise the choice of counselor is the decision of the client.

So in order to make the choice of who to see, it is necessary for the client to ask the potential counselor, "so tell me something about yourself?" And the answer should reveal the philosophy that guides the counselors thinking process. This is the reason I tell people up front, "I am a Christian Counselor." It is my belief all counselors should reveal their perspectives: Atheist Counselor, Buddhist Counselor, Existentialist Counselor, or whatever the case may be. Unfortunately this is not a common practice, and so without this information consumers are lacking necessary details to make an informed choice.

As for me I am a Christian Counselor. I am respectful of other points of view, but this respect does not change who I am. At the most fundamental level I am a Christian, and the thinking that emerges from these deeply held beliefs guides the way I view the world, which influences the way I do counseling. And most importantly, knowing this about me enables you to make a truly informed choice.

Patrick Yates

• Marriage Counseling
• Recovery – Start or maintain your recovery from substances or sexual addiction
• Family: Children and Adolescents
• Mens Issues
• Individual Counseling – for a variety life struggles including Depression, Anxiety,Trauma Recovery (including EMDR), OCD as well as many other issues

Will Insurance Reimburse for my counseling?

• Most Insurance Companies will reimburse for counseling. Patrick is currently in-network for several insurance carriers including: Aetna, Cigna, MHN, TriCare (military). Many insurance carriers will cover counseling out of network so don't forget to ask about this when you call.

Where is the office?

• Patrick Yates MA LPC, East Hanover, NJ 07936 (When you make an appointment I will text or email you directions.)

I treasure the times when the pace of life slows. It was spring in DC when I attended a 3 day conference. The air was fresh with the smells of spring. Mary Pipher was the keynote speaker and one of her comments has ever since fixed itself in my mind. She said that as a society we are often tyrannized by our calendars; that many times our clients need therapy for their schedules. There was nothing inherently profound about this, but it stuck with me because it spoke to my reality.

The same thought came to me the other day while talking with my client George. He and I have been working on maintaining his recovery and noticing that when his schedule was busiest he was most prone to relapse. His work became busier at certain times of the year, he’d attend less meetings, become less intentional and more robotic about his tasks, and end up with a beer in his hand. In his busyness he stopped taking care of himself and relapse was the consequence.

At the height of one the busiest times George’s car taught him a lesson, a lesson we all need. His auto developed a curious problem. It would run for 20 minutes, then stall. But after a few minutes start up and run for another 20 minutes. His commute, however, was 30 minutes. Until repaired his car would break down each time he attempted his commute.  He decided to drive 15 minutes, then stop at a park along the way, take a stroll, pray, or read the Bible, then get in his car and complete the commute. As time went on he realized he really enjoyed these breaks, and he felt better.

So here are a few thoughts to reflect on:

1. The psalmist wrote: "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24). Look around you at the natural beauty of the world. Every inch of it was made by God. Rejoice and be glad for it. 
2. In the book of Proverbs it says, "It is vain for you to rise up early and retire late, to eat the bread of painful labor, for he gives to his beloved even in their  sleep." (Psalm 127: 2) When he overworks my friend's wife tells him, "he gives sleep to his beloved, so stop working and go to bed!"  
3. Jesus knew the busyness of work, but would withdraw from the crowd to pray and rest, in the early morning to pray (Mark 1:35), or on a boat ride to sleep (Mark 4:38). Jesus took time away from the busyness, so can you. 
4. So everything in it's season. A time for hard work, but a time for taking a break as well. (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-9) I just read an article calling America the "No Vacation Nation," and this can't be good.

So take breaks. Enjoy the season. Don’t wait, do it now. Make the time. Allow the story of a broken car to influence your schedule.